I've seen quite a few of these "What happens in your *insert age bracket here*" type posts floating around on sites like Buzzfeed and 9GAG, so I thought I'd come up with my own, now that I'm in my 20s and have the glorious benefit of hindsight.
1) You once naively thought that you'd have gone to University and have a high-flying career by the time you're 24. Probably in something awesome like fashion journalism where you get to hang out with Britney Spears and Johnny Depp on the regular. Usually, the reality is more like this:
- Even if you did go to University, you're probably just starting out in your dream career. You're taken for granted, paid next to nothing, and pretty much act as a glorified tea lady on the daily.
- You screwed up your degree choice/didn't go to University at all, and are now living back in your home town in the same bartending job you had when you were 18 wondering where it all went wrong and trying to figure out what the hell to do next.
- You're "finding yourself", i.e. travelling a lot, getting drunk a lot, and putting off the inevitability of being an adult.
2) As a young impressionable teen, you imagined University to look like it does in the movies. In reality, it's more Fresh Meat meets Shameless than it is Legally Blonde meets American Pie. Much more mould and Pot Noodle and weird house-mates. From what I can gather, it's most definitely a character building experience.
3) As a kid, you think that by the time you're in your 20s, you'll have travelled to the majority of places on your bucket list and/or be living in one of them. For me, it was India.
Yeaaahhhh, not so much... You've maybe seen one or two of your dream places, or a handful if you're lucky, but most people are still here. A lot of us live half an hour away from the town/village we grew up in.
4) Okay so University wasn't as you thought it would be, and alright, you're not as well-travelled as you'd have liked... But please, tell me the nuclear family dream is a reality, right? RIGHT?!?
Put it this way, the number of people from school I know with the classic nuclear family (husband/wife, charming child/children, nice house, etc), is approximately.... None. Zero. Zip. Nada. I know some who have got married, lots who have had babies, and a few who are engaged.. But mostly, things aren't that different to how you were when you were 16. Dating is still hard, people still break your heart, relationships still take work and there is no magical remedy for your emotional issues. Sorry about that.
5) You have a pretty good knowledge of nutrition in your 20s, mostly. You know what's good, what's bad, you understand how calories work and how many you need, you know you need more vegetables and less processed carbs. Do you implement this knowledge? Um.. On Mondays. Sometimes. If you remember...
6) You really don't feel any different to how you did when you were 16. You're probably a bit better at making decisions and there's a little more life experience there, possibly even some wisdom, but essentially all you really want to do is stay up all night singing S Club 7, prank calling people, having a Family Guy marathon, and eating your bodyweight in sweets.
7) Heels aren't all they're cracked up to be. Really. By the time you're in your 20s, the idea of tottering around on 6 inch heels when you go out, unable to dance properly, unable to walk properly, unable to have fun, and being in far too much pain to even contemplate doing any of those things anyway, will be completely unappealing (even if they do make your butt and legs look ah-may-zing). Vans and Converse and a good flip flop in the Summer do you just fine, thanks. As long as your feet are protected from broken glass, pee, and vomit, it's all good. Plus, you can jump around and have races to the kebab shop without risk of breaking an ankle. YAY.
8) You don't take crap from anyone. If someone's being an arse, upsetting you/your buddies, or just generally being incredibly unfair, you don't keep quiet and then rant about it on Facebook later, and you definitely don't cause a scene and get into a fight. Oh, no, you're a grown up. You speak to them calmly, directly, and explain exactly why you're bothered. Check you out, you assertive little thing, you.
9) But you're also much more tolerant of others. You don't fall out with someone easily, you don't judge people on their clothes, musical tastes, or whether they're good looking or not. By now you've learnt it's far more important for people to be kind and honest than it is for them to be cool, and you have a supreme talent for picking out the good in everyone. Plus, life's so much more fun with people who are zany and bizarre. They have some brilliant stories to tell.
10) Simultaneously, you've developed a sense of self-love and you're confident in who you are, and if people don't like it, they can take a flying jump. Literally or figuratively, whatever. You know you're awesome.
11) Drink and drugs aren't all they're cracked up to be. In the right moment they can be fun, but generally, you'd rather go for a walk on the beach or eat your bodyweight in pastries than be trapped in your bathroom for 3 days because you think the door knob's a baby dragon.
12) Your sense of style is pretty secured by your 20s, or you at least know what your signature colour is and make some kind of effort to work around that. You're comfortable wearing whatever the hell you want, whether it's full on lolita fashion, a permanent state of skinny jeans, or hanging out in your jammies. And no, you couldn't give a sod about whether you're an apple, pear, or a bloody turnip for all you care, thank you very much.
13) Your parents/family are the best thing ever. Really. You were a pain in their ass as a teen, and they stuck it out and supported you always, even when you really didn't deserve it. They've put up with so much, and in your 20s, it's time to recognise this and give back.
14) Teenagers are f**king annoying. There, I said it.
15) Sleep is actually really, really good. Like, really good. Like, napping in the middle of the day going to bed at 9:30PM kinda good.
16) The awful reality of keeping a house clean and tidy. Dishes. Laundry. Hoovering. Cleaning the cat's litter tray. Ironing. Tidying. More dishes... But hey, you find ways to make it fun.
17) People who think drugs/not doing sport/being lazy/bad personal hygiene/partying all the time is cool, are, in your 20s, now see as utter pond dwellers and not the totally cool bad-asses they were when you were 15. Seriously, get a life. Loser.
18) Cooking is actually really, really fun and not a chore at all. So many combinations, so many flavours. Wait, so you mean to tell me you can cook things by soaking it in LEMON JUICE?! And you can make a healthy frosting for cake using AVOCADO and there is absolutely NO DIFFERENCE in taste but it's WAY better for you!?! Well, shit!!
19) You will develop a political opinion, and it will differ from some of the people you love the most. Don't let it get in the way. It doesn't matter. They're all backwards and evil and full of lies anyway, and your loved ones are more important than that. Just never bring it up when alcohol's involved. Ever. Not even once.
20) You find yourself gradually narrowing down your friendship group to those solid, nuclear people who have your back no matter what, and old good friends you lost touch with start coming back to replace the superficial ones you developed in Sixth Form, College, and University. Your 20s are a time less of thousands of Facebook friends you hardly know, and more of 10 or so friends you love to pieces who know so much about you and your past, you'd have to kill the both of you if they ever tried to leave.
So enjoy your 20s. Go crazy. Now is the time when you have the most freedom, the most time to develop as a human, to live, experience, to make mistakes.... All before your 30s hit. Crap.
